If Santa were Obama/Axelrod's Political Opponent

based on Obama's style (via Axelrod, Jarret) of seeking to personally destroy his opponents http://www.humanevents.com/2011/11/09/david-axelrods-pattern-of-sexual-misbehavior/
 And now without further ado: if Santa were Obama/Axelrod's political opponent by Soo-Do Nim

1. What's in Santa's "closet"? The word is out that Santa spends a great deal of time stashing more than just Johnny's gifts in that little bag of his. Santa's in the unique position to transfer goodies to drug dealers across borders WITHOUT THE USUAL BORDER SECURITY CHECKS! 
2. Santa Claus, or as he is also known "Saint" Nicholas, disappears off the grid for months at a time, reportedly stashing money in various Dutch bank accounts. But due to his secrecy, we're not even certain about where he goes, and he has been reportedly seen in some of the seediest neighborhoods in Chicago and L.A. 
3. Charity begins in Santa's home? - Where is the money? Thousands of volunteers raised money to "help" Santa reach more homes and chimneys, but much of this money has somehow vanished... it seems that plenty of the money has found its way into Santa's portly figure, as he lavishly feeds himself during his now infamous North pole parties. 
4. Santa's highschool girlfriend speaks out  - Poet Katherine Lee Bates wrote extensively about Mrs. Claus, but her fascination with the jolly red giant goes beyond poetic to perverse. Many underage girls have been a little more than "happy" after receiving gifts and favors from Santa. His behavior has raised more than a few eyebrows. But rumour has it that Bates was more than just Santa's poet, a secret hidden from Mrs. Claus until this year, when this important story broke open on the Puff Post. 
5. Reindeer abuse? Santa's sleigh gets fuller and fuller, while his reindeer continue to look skinnier and more sickly. Animal safety experts contend that the great distances his reindeer are literally forced to travel every December are tantamount to animal torture! How can we trust a man who cannot even take care of his own animals? 
6. Santa now putting his elves back in chains!! While Santa gorges himself on wine and cakes, his elves work tirelessly to build up Santa's ever-expanding wealth. He commands them around like his little peons, denying their human rights to vacation and health care. No, no. It's always about Santa. Well in this election, Santa needs to take a quick trip right back to the North Pole!

I Will Not Read, I Will Not Listen, I Promise

ABC News to its writers: Folks, this election is about ignoring all of Romney's successes, kindness and generosity, and ignoring all of Obama's failures, selfishness and narcissism. Let's get 8 more stories done about "the 47%" this week, and not Bain anymore since that backfired. I'm tired of hearing about all of the jobs Romney actually saved AND created. Focus on important words such as outsourced. If you can do a story combining the words 47% and outsourced, there will be a bonus for you. Now let's go! Oh, and don't forget to pre-write your templates of "Romney's embarrassing gaffes at the debate," so once it's over you can just fill in the blanks.

Okay, folks, before you go, do repeat the oath after me:

I do solemnly swear to focus only on the audio snippets of Romney that government-approved media (that includes us!), and our party dictate, such as 47%, because whatever he meant by that, I am quite sure that more than 47% would never vote for him, so he was inaccurate. And I will waste no energy thinking about how Romney has been successful rebuilding businesses and is a creative entrepreneur and has been generous in a freakish way (it's just not right to earn and give away so much money). Yeah sure, he gave away literally millions of dollars every year for the last 20 years (just gave it away to charity!) but no matter. He did mention 47% in a meeting with "donors." For all we know they're also busy secretly giving away money to charity too! Millions of dollars given away to who knows what charity? Why the secrecy?

I also do solemnly swear not to focus on the different ways Obama's pursuits seem to have failed at every step. The economy continues to fail under him. He didn't show up to vote much while in the Senate even during what he has labeled the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression. He didn't show up for intelligence briefings while the Middle East was(is) in flames. I am Democrat, hear me roar. I can blank out large portions of factual information and focus in, only on what is set before me. I can have Ann Coulter on my show as a guest, and not read even portions of her book Mugged, knowing that since I am black and she is not, the case is closed. Say no more! I will not watch any news program that may show Obama in a negative light. Fox news has purportedly played speeches by Obama saying one thing in 2012, and on the same show speeches of Obama saying the exact opposite during the 2007 campaign! This is sneaky, backhanded, and should not be allowed. I do solemnly swear to not listen to Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, Mike Huckabee, Karl Rove <* ewww snarl *>, and especially not any words coming out of Dick Cheney <* double snarl *>. And I agree not to read books such as Ameritopia, Demonic, Liberal Fascism, The Forgotten Man, and especially not Mugged. I will not read them, Sam I Am.

Hybrid Tankless from Village seems cool

I recently stumbled across a compact hybrid tankless water heater system over at Village Plumbing in Houston. Seemed unique because it's 98%+ efficient, has a nice small footprint, and works equally well in new homes and with older plumbing.

You should look at this 98% efficient tankless system I think!

John Patitucci shares his soul on electric and upright bass

John Patitucci's profound Bass and Music Lesson

Antoine Dodson, Antoine Dodson, Antoine Dodson!! Funny video

Antoine Dodson - hide your wife, hide your kids

Funny Drummer Video - Amateur, Except it's like Air Drums

Funny Drums Video - Amateur

Okay, this kid gets an A for effort,

Mood Music for Time Travellers

Mood Music for Time Travellers will be out on August 10

The Either/Orchestra's first new CD in five years will be hitting the internet stores, some brick and mortar stores (are there any left?), and Itunes and the other download operations on Tuesday, August 10.
Check out Mood Music for Time Travellers!