I Will Not Read, I Will Not Listen, I Promise

ABC News to its writers: Folks, this election is about ignoring all of Romney's successes, kindness and generosity, and ignoring all of Obama's failures, selfishness and narcissism. Let's get 8 more stories done about "the 47%" this week, and not Bain anymore since that backfired. I'm tired of hearing about all of the jobs Romney actually saved AND created. Focus on important words such as outsourced. If you can do a story combining the words 47% and outsourced, there will be a bonus for you. Now let's go! Oh, and don't forget to pre-write your templates of "Romney's embarrassing gaffes at the debate," so once it's over you can just fill in the blanks.

Okay, folks, before you go, do repeat the oath after me:

I do solemnly swear to focus only on the audio snippets of Romney that government-approved media (that includes us!), and our party dictate, such as 47%, because whatever he meant by that, I am quite sure that more than 47% would never vote for him, so he was inaccurate. And I will waste no energy thinking about how Romney has been successful rebuilding businesses and is a creative entrepreneur and has been generous in a freakish way (it's just not right to earn and give away so much money). Yeah sure, he gave away literally millions of dollars every year for the last 20 years (just gave it away to charity!) but no matter. He did mention 47% in a meeting with "donors." For all we know they're also busy secretly giving away money to charity too! Millions of dollars given away to who knows what charity? Why the secrecy?

I also do solemnly swear not to focus on the different ways Obama's pursuits seem to have failed at every step. The economy continues to fail under him. He didn't show up to vote much while in the Senate even during what he has labeled the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression. He didn't show up for intelligence briefings while the Middle East was(is) in flames. I am Democrat, hear me roar. I can blank out large portions of factual information and focus in, only on what is set before me. I can have Ann Coulter on my show as a guest, and not read even portions of her book Mugged, knowing that since I am black and she is not, the case is closed. Say no more! I will not watch any news program that may show Obama in a negative light. Fox news has purportedly played speeches by Obama saying one thing in 2012, and on the same show speeches of Obama saying the exact opposite during the 2007 campaign! This is sneaky, backhanded, and should not be allowed. I do solemnly swear to not listen to Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, Mike Huckabee, Karl Rove <* ewww snarl *>, and especially not any words coming out of Dick Cheney <* double snarl *>. And I agree not to read books such as Ameritopia, Demonic, Liberal Fascism, The Forgotten Man, and especially not Mugged. I will not read them, Sam I Am.

Ann Coulter Captioned by CNN

funny - I posted an old story today I wrote under the name Typical White Person called Extreme Advertising that was about an Ann Coulter controversy that originated in 2007. And looking over the CNN story that covered the whole thing, I saw that they described Coulter like this:

Conservative commentator Ann Coulter has been widely criticized for calling presidential candidate John Edwards a 'faggot.'

 That's how they described her. Not bestselling author, not popular commentator, mind you. CNN that bastion of fairness.  That story was from 2007, and I don't know about you, but I'd say that since then Edwards has been called a lot worse. I'd have to say that Coulter was some kind of oracle to have that kind of insight into Edwards future personality, but at the time "she was widely criticized." FLASHFORWARD 2010 he also lied about the child. Now this guy was a Democrat on the ticket for Vice President of the United States. But all you hear about is PALIN, PALIN, PALIN in a negative fashion of course. Stories such as this where CNN leaves a comment on their respectable journal calling Palin an ignorant twit. No way to edit those pesky comments I guess.

At least Edwards earned it.

Cool thing was AnnCoulter.com linked to my Extreme Advertising article from her front page and left it there for over a month. Thanks Ann, popular commentator and bestselling author. I dug getting the additional traffic. American Sentinel was shut down because some guy living on a yacht in DC claimed ownership of the name. But what was once TWP is now Soo Do-nim. Although I'm still a *typical white person.

Speaking of which here are a couple of campaign slogans I'm willing to share with the Democrat Party:

Keep Racism Alive! 

Join the Democrat party, where we still care (VERY much) 

about the color of your skin.

or

Join the Democrat Party, where you're not an American, 

you're a hyphenated-American.

That's on the house, no extra charge.

*This was my TWP bio back then:

My journal's name TWP was inspired by Barack Obama's grandmother whom he referred to as a typical white person during his attempt to explain why he'd portrayed her as a racist during a speech designed to explain his 20-year relationship with Rev. Wright. During his campaign he needed to prove he was more 'down with black folk' than Hillary Clinton, whose phony gospel accent wasn't playing well to audiences in Selma. Seems like it worked as Obama carried 96% of the black vote in November. How many half-blacks voted for him is TBD.
~ TWP

A Lot To Be Sorry For

What with all the apologizing going on for verbal slips, Larry Elder lists a few other apologies we'll probably never hear, such as:

Dear Anti-Defamation League and White Community,

Please accept my apologies for calling whites "interlopers" and referring to Jews as "diamond merchants," and, during a conflict between Jews and blacks, saying, "If the Jews want to get it on, tell them to pin their yarmulkes back and come over to my house." They were mistakes of the head, not the heart.
Rev. Al Sharpton, civil rights activist and former host of "Saturday Night Live"


Dear Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice and other minority members of the Bush administration,
Please accept my apology for, while co-hosting a radio show in 2001, calling Bush's minority appointees "Uncle Tom types." I made a mistake of the head, not of the heart.
Sincerely yours, Gloria Allred, attorney at law, currently representing the black "victims" of Michael Richards' racist rant

[Link]

Striking The Word Nappy From Middle English

From Stevie Wonder's "I Wish"

Looking back on when I
Was a little nappy headed boy
Then my only worry
Was for Christmas what would be my toy
Even though we sometimes
Would not get a thing
We were happy with the
Joy the day would bring

[Link]

The album Songs In The Key Of Life is one of the greatest in the history of American music. One of those tunes, "I Wish" starts off with the lyrics posted above - and as far as I knew as a "white guy" from Iowa, it was perfectly OK to use the term nappy headed. It was ok for Stevie. Now come to find out thanks to Imus, I'm not allowed to say nappy headed. That's racial according to the Reverend Al. That's ridiculous according to Reverend Merriam. What now... can Al presume to remove words from the dictionary? Nappy derives from nap: Etymology: Middle English noppe, from Middle Dutch, flock of wool, nap - a hairy or downy surface (as on a fabric). Nappy is a perfectly decent descriptive adjective.

As for the rest of Don Imus' little quip (and it was very brief), he was trying to make a joke at the expense of others. That's what comedians do (and Imus is not a very good one). You just have to make sure that "the others" are not Muslim, or black, I guess, or you'll receive either death threats or get fired, depending. Better to slam safer targets such as America, George W, or any person who is either white, Republican, Christian or Catholic, because friends, it is open season on them.